Are they awkward? Are they strange? Are they just more examples of culture clashes in this lovely world we live in? These are the David Letterman top ten campo moments that make you say "Mm-hm..." No specific emphasis, no exclamation points, just a couple short breaths... Just "Mm-hm..."
10. Upon noticing one of the rancho dogs looked particularly rotund Lauren asked Abuela Chola, "Esta embarazada la perra?" Wanting to know if the mama dog was pregnant again. Startled, Abuela Chola responded, "Nah, está llena!" Which means, "Naw, she's full!" And then added that she gave her some injections so that she wouldn't get pregnant any more. "Mm-hm..."
9. Alex toiled away one afternoon to carefully calibrate and re-calibrate a PVC gutter on one side of the house so as to save Lauren's newly planted flower garden below from torrential roof run-off. As the afternoon skies opened up, Alex sat back and admired his work, a true trial by fire. At that moment Raulin, his good campo friend, hurtled onto the porch to get out of the rain. Following Alex's gaze Raulin fixed his eye on the gutter as well. "The water is falling weird," he said and reached up to give the gutter a good yank, dislodging it from its riggings. "Si. Mejor." As we watched the water wash away the soil and the seeds I had to agree while crying on the inside, "Yes Raulin. That IS better." "Mm-hm..."
8. Lauren and I returned from a visit to an Embera community excited to share our experiences with this awesome Panamanian indigenous group. Abuelo Cholo was brimming with questions... Well okay, not brimming, he had two questions. "¿Llevaban sus tetas afuera?" Which roughly translates to, "Were their tits out?" To this we answered in the negative, which prompted this follow-up question, "¿Habían hamacas?" Or, "Were there hammocks?" Yes Abuelo. The women had their tits "in," but at least there were hammocks. "Mm-hm..."
7. A recent Sunday sermon had passed into the announcements phase during which everyone gets a chance to give news and share upcoming activities. Padre Isidro was making an announcement about an upcoming multi-cultural activity and said roughly the following, "We will be sharing foods from all around Central and South America. You all will have the opportunity to try dishes from Guatemala, Panama... ... ... and some other countries I just can't think of right now." "Mm-hm..."
6. We fell into a conversation, also at the rancho, about a veterinarian for our new found cat's skin ailment. Gaspar, the oldest son of Abuelo and Abuela, began enthusiastically recommending his friend from La Pintada who was an expert on fixing this, that and the other affliction on cow health. The ever astute Abuela Chola giggled, "Pero, no es vaca, es gata!" Meaning, "But, it isn't a cow, it's a cat!" "Hm-hm..."
5. At Santos Lorenzo and Maria's house the other day we were just about to leave when they asked us to stay another minute to help them with something. We agreed and Maria whisked away returning with a small box in hand. She said they didn't know what it was, but thought it was valuable. They showed us a set of gold cuff links and a tie clip. We explained their usage and how the box said 18-carat gold. She said she knew they were valuable because they had not rusted even though she found the box abandoned in the mud. "Mm-hm..."
4. Lauren and I descended to the rancho one day to find our campesino friend Benigno passed out sitting up in a chair. Having had too much to drink he decided to sit right down in the middle of the patio and sleep it off. Conversation continued normally as if he weren't sleeping in between everyone talking until Omaira, Abuela Chola's oldest daughter said, "Man, his neck is gonna hurt later." All of this transpired on a Tuesday afternoon at about 2:15. "Mm-hm..."
3. As we returned from La Pintada on the bus one day, the driver made a quick stop and the Pavo, the driver's assistant, hustled into a corner store and returned with two six-packs of Balboa, which he carefully tucked behind the door. Upon arrival in San Juanito we had to stop short on our exit as the Pavo handed down the precious cargo to an expectant Abuelo Cholo who had jogged out from the rancho to collect. He flashed a sheepish grin when he saw us. Apparently Abuelo Cholo has learned how to order beer to his house. "Mm-hm..."
2. The other day on our ever gracious guide Anacleto's farm we were planting some cucumbers and Lauren was heard celebrating the great fertilizing properties of "caca de vaca" or "cow poop." In his quiet, unassuming manner as if to avert a future embarrassing situation for a dear friend he interjected in a serious tone, "Lorena. Here we call that material mierda de vaca," which literally translates as "cow shit." "Hm-mm..."
1. Abuela Chola sat on our porch one day, carefully scrutinizing a children's book of animal pictures, a recent arrival from the U.S. of A. Turning the book to show us the current picture she said, "En antes, antes de maquinas y tractores, se amarraban estes animales juntos para trabajar y alcanzar cosas." Which means, "In the olden days, before machines and tractors, they used to tie these animals together in order to work and reach things." The picture was of two giraffes. "Mm-hm..."
And that's it. Perhaps you laughed, cried, or just kept reading wondering what the heck this is all about. This is about our people and how much we love them. They are the gentlest, most honorable, say-it-like-it-is people we have ever met. They are doubly infinite in wisdom and kindness. They simultaneously remake our world and include our souls in their world on a daily basis. They have taught me how to grin and bear it and bite my tongue in order to suppress laughter. May "Dios los bendiga siempre."
